It was one of those days. You know the kind – where it starts off with the most productive intentions and you’re doing the running man dance move in your kitchen because it’s like THE DAY – the day you are gettin. YO stuff. DONE.
Then you pull a muscle in your back and the dance party is over. Or, you lose something other than your mind and waste 4-5 hours of your “gettin it done” day looking for your damn phone.
Let me explain. Earlier this week I was leaving the auto repair shop with my freshly fixed car – feeling on top of the world and so accomplished for getting this hefty chore off my list. I know—-you would think I was actually fixing the car myself, rather than merely, making the appointment and figuring out transportation – but in MY reality it was much bigger than that!
My cheerful spirit was swiftly crushed when I realized I didn’t have my phone – yeah – the mini computer smart phone that I hadn’t had more than a few months – that one.
I performed the ritualistic pat down in the mechanic’s parking lot – observers probably thought I was doing the Macarena.
Nope not in the coat or vest pockets – Side Note – yes, it was a really cute midwestern, fall layered look with a puffer vest – like maybe I’m going hiking later – but no – not really going hiking because I have suede ankle boots on with a little heel.
AND NOT in the front or back jean pockets – oooh I did find an old favorite lipgloss I haven’t seen for awhile. Score!
Then the purse search. I liken my purse searching procedure to a forensic investigation; a crime scene or missing persons case out in the wilderness. You have to be methodical and thorough.
It starts with a quick glance inside the purse – just to get a visual of the potential crime scene. Then the eyes tell the brain “we’re going in” and that’s when you get your hands dirty – Especially when the potential crime scene houses my 5 year old’s chewed bubble gum; lidless chapstick and hand sanitizer that I forgot to close.
Detectives aren’t the only ones who should have latex gloves available at all times.
Over the years I’ve become so experienced at my search and rescue missions that I have it down to a science. Checked every zip pocket in the purse – every corner; even dumped all potential evidence out.
Many times in the past I have been so frantic and panicked while searching that I simply miss the lost item because I’m in such a flustered state. Would you look at that? That’s been right here the whole darn time?
And that – is super embarrassing. Especially when you’ve enlisted an entire search party.
So, again, I’m no Rookie – I have perfected my process.
Still, no sign of a phone.
I’m getting a little nervous now. No big deal – I’ll retrace my morning – just like all the investigators do – Sherlock, Olivia Benson – I’ve been paying attention over the years.
So naturally, I interrogate MYSELF, starring MYSELF as the good cop and the bad cop.
Good cop: you’ve got a lot going on – it makes sense you would misplace your phone.
Bad cop: Yeah – she’s going down this time – it’s a crime how much time she wastes looking for lost stuff.
Good cop: you had so many things to do this morning.
Bad Cop: yeah like LOSE HER PHONE; I don’t like you, Farr. I think you are criminally unorganized and I don’t buy your “I’m busy bullshit” – for one minute – everybody’s busy – get over yourself.
Good cop: well you do have Attention Deficit Disorder which can make it harder to keep track of things.
Bad Cop: Excuses, excuses, you gonna use that one again, Farr? You’re pathetic. We’re done here. Here’s a quarter – call someone who cares – like your mom or your therapist.
Real Me: Just arrest me for God’s sake! I know I waste people’s time and cause myself and others undue burdens and stress because I can’t focus on what is right in front of my face. And I know I’m ten steps ahead of myself and forget to practice mindfulness and being present – and then POOF I’m onto the next thing and can’t remember what day of the week it is.
It’s like being in a state of conscious amnesia. Is that a real thing or did I just make that up? Not sure.
After my interrogation – I determined I must have left it in the Uber I took to get to the auto repair shop.
Dammit Dammit Dammit. My Uber driver left , not even ten minutes before I confirmed my phone was missing.
I’ve actually never lost a phone that I can recall – dropped it in a toilet: yes– probably neveer lost one because I had to become so rigid about putting really important things in their homes or this would happen CONSTANTLY.
Thank goodness for boyfriends who check their email regularly. Casey coordinated the whole rescue component, off site, with his phone, while I messaged him details from my computer. I did in fact leave it in the Uber driver’s car.
That’s why I try to put a lot of deposits into those I am close with – so then when I have one of my ADD moments and I need to be thrown a life raft – people are less annoyed –
I think. I hope.
So THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES – when you have ADHD. I try to stay positive and not beat myself up in the interrogation room – but it’s hard when you have the best INTENTIONS and you are highly capable – but your brain just checks out and can’t keep up.
Tomorrow I’ll try again. That’s all I can do.
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